Maybe from the outside, it doesn’t seem so bad. Seeing someone get hit is easy to recognize as abuse. But the stress of being afraid of someone’s temper, what they will do or say, that they don’t respect you or your feelings, that they won’t be loving and caring to your child is as traumatic.
Here is audio from a visitation at a mall play area in which he yells at the mother after shoving her. The audio clip is a little long, some parts are transcribed below:
At 34 seconds:
Mother: You pushed me. You did. You put your arm into my chest and shoved me away.
Father: Right, ok, whatever. [Unsure, quality is too bad]. I swear to god if you try saying anything like that in front of the judge I’ll fucking destroy you.
Mother: Wait, I’ll put her down, please don’t touch her while she’s in my lap, I’ve asked you not to do that.
Father: Like, that’s exactly what [Unsure, bad quality] that I’m talking about. I’m very clear about what I said and then you try and make it into a threat? You know [raising voice] please, PLEASE let your lawyer know. Please let your lawyer know. I’ve had it up to here. You have absolutely no reason to be hostile with me.
Mother: Please don’t stand over me waving your hand at me.
Father: Oh, oh, oh yeah, you’re so threatened.
Mother: All I ask is that-[Speaking to baby] Hi! Look at you!
Father: All I ask is that you leave me and my daughter alone, that you allow us [yelling] to have a fucking relationship instead of trying to [Unsure, bad quality] you don’t let any of that happen. N0.
Mother: I just ask-
Father: [yelling] NO. NO.
Mother: I just asked that-
Mother: Please stop waiving your hand at me, I feel like you are going to hit me.
Father: No you don’t.
Mother: Yes I do.
Father: No you don’t.
Mother: You’re standing over me waiving your hand in my face.
Verbal and emotional abuse take the form of trying to make the victim feel powerless, wrong in her feelings, discounting her right to her feelings, and belittling her.
Here is another audio clip, a shorter one, in which he puts the mother down in front of the baby:
Father: Did you cut her hair?
Father: So maybe. [Laughs.]
Mother: What? I said no.
Father: Yeah I know, but you lie about everything so, maybe. [Laughs]
There are over a dozen recordings, all the same. All a constant stream of insults, using bad language, blaming the mother, all in front of the baby.This matters. It’s damaging.
Would you put your baby in a situation where she was alone with this man?
Here is a Facebook post he made after a visitation. He thinks violence is funny and that this is how you should behave towards others:
All the mother wants is supervised visitations. So she doesn’t have to put up with his abuse, and can be sure that her child is safe and not being treated in the same way.
The next post will go back to the beginning and take you through the documentation of why this the mother does not want this man to have unsupervised visitations. This blog will start outlining how the judge in this case has ignored, refused to look at, and the points where he himself threatened to take away the nursing baby from the home she has known for the last year a half and the mother who has been the only responsible parent she’s known.
Please listen. Please help. Because no one else is.
The next post will go back the beginning, and take you through the documentation of this case and